Wednesday, August 23, 2023
When evaluating their individual sexual prowess or how successful their sex life is, people often turn to the data: how often they have sex, and how long it takes for both parties to achieve orgasm.
People research how to last longer in bed and try exercises and medicine to last longer in bed. While there are premature ejaculation treatments available, they may not be the only option. The general assumption is that, for men, the longer you last, the more you are both enjoying yourselves and the more accomplished you are as a lover, but the reality may be different.
The answer to the question of how long good sex should really last is almost entirely subjective. This means that, while there is some research and there are average figures, the real answer really depends on the two people engaging in sexual intercourse and what satisfies them.
One American study surveying women and their sexual pleasure found that:
While this data is useful, it is not entirely relevant as it only surveyed women and makes an assumption of heterosexual intercourse, while not accounting for foreplay.
A Canadian study in 2008, which involved consultation with therapists who diagnose sexual disorders, reinforced the original findings that 3-7 minutes of intercourse was acceptable, and 7-10 minutes desirable. (2) Meanwhile, a more recent study, conducted in 2020, determined that, on average, it takes women “in a monogamous, stable, heterosexual relationship” around 13.5 minutes, on average, to orgasm. (3)
The general consensus is that lasting in bed for fewer than 3 minutes may flag clinical concerns. Other than that, the real answer to the question of how long someone should last in bed is: as long as feels right, healthy and enjoyable to both parties. Sex is about much more than intercourse and while intercourse undoubtedly forms a large part of sex, it is by no means the only element; in fact, most women are unable to achieve orgasm through intercourse alone.
If you are achieving an erection and keeping it long enough to achieve orgasm, then it is unlikely that you are suffering from erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction is a condition that affects nearly half of men over the age of forty at some point in their life and is characterised by the inability to achieve an erection, maintain an erection, or maintain one long enough to have sex. (4)
While climaxing early could be seen as a huge compliment for your sexual partner, premature ejaculation (PE) can cast as much of a shadow over sexual encounters as erectile dysfunction (ED). The pressure to perform can even make you more likely to experience ED or PE. There are a few natural techniques that you can try that may help you to last longer in bed; they will also give you an element of control which could help to ease the psychological elements of your PE or ED.
Kegel exercises for men to last longer. You may have heard of pelvic floor exercises, or Kegels, for women, but did you know that men can benefit from them too? Your pelvic floor muscles help to increase the flow of blood during your penis, so have a role to play in helping you to get- and keep- an erection. (5)
Edging to help you last longer in bed. This method can not only prolong how long you last in bed, but it can increase the pleasure for both parties. When you feel as though you might orgasm, stop and wait until the sensation passes, then resume. This method will help you to last longer in bed and can also help to build sexual tension and anticipation, making the moment of climax better for both parties.
Squeezing to prolong sexual intercourse. Just as it sounds, squeezing involves squeezing the end of the penis when you feel ready to ejaculate. A brief, firm squeeze will make the sensation abate.
Sometimes, the most effective way to get over the physical and psychological factors that can cause premature ejaculation is to use medication. If you want to last longer in bed, pills and sprays are available, including:
If you are finding that you can achieve an erection but can’t maintain it long enough to have sex and climax, then erectile dysfunction treatments may be more appropriate for you. When you speak to your prescriber, they will take your full history and advise you on the most appropriate course of action. The most common erectile dysfunction treatments include Viagra pills or sildenafil pills (non-branded Viagra), Cialis tablets, or the generic alternative, tadalafil, and Levitra pills (or the generic vardenafil). As with all medication, erectile dysfunction treatments can have some side effects and contraindications, therefore you must be as detailed as possible when completing your online consultation so that your prescriber can determine the most effective, appropriate and safe treatment for you.
Once your prescription has been approved, your ED or PE treatment could be on your doorstep in discreet packaging within 24 hours.